My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
jump out the window naked night went bad
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