living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
time to smoke my breakfast
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
