i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I understand Curling. That high.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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