Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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