the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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