You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
