yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We just shotgunned beers for America
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
