my mouth tastes like poor choices
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
