Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
So squirting runs in the family.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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