There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I can't put those talents on a resume
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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