im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
