I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
