Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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