so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
