they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
