His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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