I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
