No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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