You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I want a musical about memes.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
