the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Dear god my vagina.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
And then he peed in my hair
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