3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
