when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I have feelings that need drinking.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
