yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
