Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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