I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
