I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
