She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize