just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
