make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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