i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
