Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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