found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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