sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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