I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
