K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
