I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
