i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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