if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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