So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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