Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
