Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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