Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
