The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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