apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
