I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
