so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I understand Curling. That high.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
