You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
