Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
i think my cat just said my name.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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