Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
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