walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
