we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I need moral support for this bender
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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