remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
