The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
