Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
