I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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