i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He shit in the fireplace
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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