He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
