I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
