Barsexuality is the new black.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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