i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
