i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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