dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
