hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
