She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
