There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
