Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
