ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
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